Posts by author
Donald Twain
In 1971 Captain George Trikiriotis left the Greek island of Samos to join the merchant navy. After years tackling the tumult of the Irish Sea, he retired. Still proudly toting a mariner’s hat, his days are now spent tending to his family vineyard on the mountainside of Ampelos, at the north of the island. I’m…
No, honestly, I mean it this time. Please, you have to believe me. Yes, I know I always say this is the ‘one’. But this time I’m for real. It was special. It was magical. Things happened to me I’ve never experienced before. I felt like a new man. Fuck, I felt like a new…
Lusso’s resident priapus, Donald Twain, takes the slow train to arguably the finest Alpine resort in Switzerland and the white wet stuff gets everywhere. Etc. Of course you’ve been skiing before. Loads, I imagine. So why bother reading about some odd-named nobody going to Switzerland and falling down a mountain? Well, because skiing done…
Donald Twain, sap rising, throws his boules around and whips out his machete in an attempt at seduction on the paradise island of Mauritius. We’re 3-0 down and my last throw is the only thing saving us from a straight-sets demolition. The coconut rum cocktail I’m slurping (my third) is doing wonders for my…
Donald Twain visits the most topographically interesting of all the Caribbean islands and finds it reeking of pheromonal tension, excellent food and (not) bad gas.
Why? Have you hit your fat head? Are you on the glue again? This was the response that most gave me when I told them I’d ridden from John O’Groats to Land’s End, unassisted, on a bicycle. The journey was 950 miles from end to end and not even for charity – “just cuz, I…
Have you been here before? OK, can I explain the concept for you?’ How I haven’t suddenly and irreversibly turned into Heath Ledger’s Joker after hearing those words remains inexplicable. It is the tip of a deeply cynical iceberg – one of the principal problems with eating out in London. Give yourself a moment to…